Restarting the summer chronicles....

So I was thinking about writing one HUGE post encompassing all the things that have happened since my last real post.... But I decided that would become way too long, so from here on out there's probably going to be a bunch of posts one after another detailing what's happened in (hopefully) chronological order. It's like time travelling through my life! hahaha

Here's a list of stuff I have to cover!!!

- Random visits from J
- July 4! :D and other trips to the bay area?
- SDComic Con 2012!!!!!!!!
- GRE (ahahha like I'm gonna talk about this hahahaha) weekend + CD's visit!
- 1 year celebration!!! :D Sorta.
- caronee's visit!
- Anything else I randomly think of!

...A lot of this list seems to include adventures with J. XD Maybe I should stop talking about him. Oh well, he's a big part of my life. Don't like it, don't read it.

Welp. Here goes. I started this post like.. two months ago, so forgive me if it's a bit disjointed sounding. XD

I called it... "This is going to be a post of gross mushy feels" and I think it was supposed to be dated something like... July 1st. hahahahahahahah Oops.

J came to visit me this weekend! And it was soooo much fun! I've basically been excited for this weekend since... well... since I left school, sadly enough. XD I just didn't really know how excited I was until this week started slowly crawling by... and then Friday rolled around and I was so excited and jittery at work it was hard for me to concentrate on anything... ;__; I managed though!

I went into work at 7 (ugh..) so I could leave early at ~4 to meet up with him at my apartment... which turned out to be completely unnecessary. He wound up not getting here till like... 6 cause he got lost... XD Fail... Welp. He got here in the end. It was really nice, cause I went outside to find him, and when he opened his car door the first thing he did was sweep me up in a really big hug and a sweet kiss.. I'm getting all giddy just thinking about it ^^;;;;

So yeah. We get into my apartment, and the first thing he does is tackle me to the bed [aka mattress on the floor -_-] and for awhile we just roll around and cuddle and giggle and all sorts of other gross cutesy "I am so happy to see you fdjaskfodshao" stuff.

....Wow what was I thinking when I wrote this? >> Talk about PDA, man this is like.. online PDA-ing. I don't even know. I was probably going to say something like physical contact feels so nice after three weeks of nothingness //spazzspazzspazz

Well, after he got here, I believe we went to one of the comic book stores that I had found when looking up comic stores online. XD It was huuuuuge! I was like... one out of three girls in a store filled with about 24783293 guys. Mostly because they seem to host Magic/Yugioh tourneys all the time. XD We also went to Safeway and bought some drinks so we could watch Young Justice/Game of Thrones and be entertained. Except before anything entertaining could happen, we fell asleep. Oops.

One last bit of cutsey-disgustingness that I will include... waking up to him after so long was so, incredibly nice. The next day was kinda just derping around the apartment in the afternoon. XD In the morning, we went to the other giant comic book store (same company!) and browsed around there... It was even bigger! With more comics!!! :D :D And the same girl/boy ratio. Ah well. Saturday night he had to leave. I was kinda sad, but it's ok, cause I was going to see him for July 4! Yaaay!

Anyway, I am loathe to include any more gross cutesy detail in this post, so this will have to do. One post done! Whoooooo!

A real quick blurb!

First of all, I would just like to say that I have about 50 drafts saved that I started and never finished... Including descriptions of J's visits and Comic con.. I'm so fail. XD I also need to write about what has happened in my life recently... namely the Monterey Bay aquarium last weekend. :D But... I guess that'll have to wait till I have more time. XD

Well... I'm still gonna be at my internship for another week or so. It's just kind of depressing, since the majority of my friends are home now, so I get to be privy to all of their plans.. except my contributions are always "HEY GUYS I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE SO HAVE FUN!!!"

Now that I think about it, I really haven't seen anyone this summer... In the beginning, I pretty much got back from school, stayed at home for around a week.... and then came to Norcal. XD And now... I think I'll be at home for a grand total of two days before I fly off to the East Coast. :P At least someone is coming to visit me, so I'll see her before I leave! XD I guess I'm not too upset about it, but I confess there's a slight twinge of jealousy somewhere in here.

At least working the extra week means I'm getting more money, I guess. Hahahahah With all the travelling I'm gonna be doing this year, I might just need it. -__-

Too bad Georgia reportedly has awful, ridiculously humid weather at this time of year...

Speaking of travelling: Man, it used to be tough to juggle my play-schedule with only two places to go every break. Now I need to squeeze in another... so there's three (four including school...)! D: All I have to say is... airline tickets had better be cheap when I go to buy them. Grumbles.

Anyway, that's enough. Back to being a lame loner in the middle of nowhere again. XD

Panic panic panic

So I'm failing at this challenge a bit... >_> There's a good reason for it, I swear!

You see... in a week now (holy shit oh my god) I am going to be taking the GRE.

...and I am going to fail. Grunt.

Honestly it feels like I'm back in high school studying for the SATs all over again.. Except I think I've become a lot dumber since high school... Seriously what happened to all my brilliance? It just disappeared! Also my work ethic is basically gone... as is all of my motivation. What has happened to me?! >_> Maybe life just suddenly became hard. I miss high school when everything was easy peasy we can all just happily float along and expend no effort to do well. Sighs.

But grad school?? my nonexistant readers ask.

Yes. I am indeed trying to get into gradschool. Unfortunately, my grades suck complete ass, so I'm probably not going to get in anywhere and then I'm going to fail at life and become a hobo aaaaaaah shit what am I gonna do with my life!?!? T__T Sometimes I just lie in bed and have miniature mental breakdowns where I just thinkg about how I'm just going to be extremely unsuccessful in life and melt into a pile of useless mush.

The problem with going to a school like MIT is that there are so many smart people that I'm just feeling ridiculously incompetent and stupid all the time. And then I hear about people getting all these great jobs/offers when they graduate or people who know exactly what they wanna do and are completely on top of everything and I'm just like please just let me sit here and be a llama for the rest of my life. Moo.

Alright. I am done panicking. For now. But seriously. T_T I don't even know what schools I want to apply to yet ugh. Or what gradschool apps are, even. I just want to get into MIT's MEng program and be done with it, but I think I'm too stupid for that... T_T

Sighs. Anyway, that is why I've been woefully silent these past few weeks. (Well, part of the reason... haha). After July 21 rolls around, I will be a lot more active! There's a lot to talk about! J's visit to me, July 4th... life in general... and COMIC CON WHICH IS THIS WEEKEND OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED.

Welp. Back to studying. Wish me luck! T__T

Norcal day.... I forget. 15?

So yesterday I was on my way to work and I was stopped by a cat... It was kinda fat and when it saw me, it started rolling around on the ground and mewling like it was saying "why aren't you petting me yet?!" So I crouched there and stared for awhile, and then another (skinnier) cat appeared and started meowing! Soooo cuuuuute. But then I had to leave for work. So no one got petted. Sorry cats. :(

I've also been having issues receiving packages. The tracking info always says it's the incorrect address... but when I check, it's the right address... and I do get my mail, so I just don't understand. -__- I hope I don't have to go yell at the dumb post office soon. Grumps.

The temperature is supposed to be 106 for Saturday and 100 for Sunday. SOMEONE SAVE ME. T__T I am seriously considering driving down to the bay area just because of that. -__- And to see people, I guess. :D

AAAAAND tomorrow is Saturday! Which means LEGEND OF KORRA EPISODE! I am so excited for this it's not even funny. Ugh.

As a side note, today cute burrito guy told me that he used to be a pro baseball player like.. a month ago. O_o wooooaaahhh... also he called me gorgeous and said my smile blows him away! XDDDD People are starting to tell me this is getting creepy bahahah. I still think it's kinda funny. Might have to stop getting food from there though >_>

ALSO I've just been informed that McDonald's happy meals are doing Pokemon Black/White toys! I SO WANT. I might go get two happy meals for dinner tonight... HAHA //five years old

All the small things

So as I'm sure I've said before, the past few days, J has been out of nation and hasn't had any stable form of internet. And jeez, it's only been like... 4 days now, but... it's really difficult. People say that long distance is hard; when you're in an LDR, you don't get the little touches and the physical things you get from an in-person relationship. They say cause of that, (most) LDRs are destined to fail.

While this is true, I think lots of people don't give verbal communication enough credit (and by this, I mean anything using words... texting, emails, letters, what have you). Nowadays, what with such advanced technology, it's easy to take communication for granted. You can get a reply instantly from anyone you want to talk to no matter where they are. Unless, of course, they don't have any means of communication.

Then all of a sudden, you're left with this... dead end. If you think of something funny to say, or just wanna check with them really quickly to see how they are, you can't. The weirdest part, for me, at least, is that there was no way to let him know that I was thinking about him. I couldn't quickly text "gnight" like I normally did, or send him a playful little text about cute burrito guy (HEHEHE). The morbid side of me didn't even know if he had gotten to his destination safely (I tried to not think about this one, though HAHA >_>).

So I resorted to sending him short (...ok maybe not so short) emails every day just letting him know how my day went. Goofy stories, little drawings (if my damned tabby would work properly), just a couple (hundred lolol-_-) words obviously written by me (because according to Caronee I have a good voice lolol) to let him know that yes, I was still thinking about him, and that he was still important to me. And god this sounds so melodramatic for just 3 days without contact -__-... It just felt really dumb because I knew I wasn't gonna get a reply anytime soon, so it was kind of like I was rambling on and on to no one (kinda like this blog, actually, but this is funXD).

So then, today, when I woke up to 5 emails from him... well. I was just really happy. It was just a bunch of words; there were no pictures, no gestures and no body language. But somehow, just receiving the couple hundred of words and because of them, knowing that he was ok and thinking about me... it made me feel so much happier. (I was grinning like a fool for awhile bahaha)

Yes, being apart is hard. Not having the physical aspect of the relationship (any relationship! Not just bf/gf) is hard too. But honestly, as long as you still have a form of communication, use it. Tell 'em whatever you want to say anytime you want to say it. Don't take it for granted, cause once the choice is gone... Man, you suddenly realize how big the world is.

I think I might even go after le old-fashioned letter writing, now that I have his address. He said he sent me mail... and I've always wanted an international pen pal :DDDDDDDD!!!!

Anyway, that was all sappy goopey and disgusting romantic shit... TIME FOR SOME FUN STUFF.

So, a week ago or so, I woke up randomly at 5am and couldn't figure out why.. so I just rolled over and went back to sleep. Then later that day, J told me he had woken up at 8am his time... What a coincidence! And then last night, I had a dream about him where he snuck up and gave me a surprise hug... and it just so happened that it was the same night he was writing emails to me! Can this be?! We must be psychic-ly linked!!!! XDDDD I actually remember reading about this somewhere. Something about if you're close enough to someone, you two will start feeling/thinking the same things? Donno if I think it's true though. Lololol

Also, yesterday, cute burrito guy got offended that I wasn't getting mexican food for lunch, so long story short, I wound up promising him that I would get something there today. Anyway, cute burrito guy asked me my name today! And then he told me he loved it! Oh stop it, you. You'll make me blush. XDDD CD tells me he's flirting with me. I think he's just being sweet :D Or... at least I hope he's not flirting. I don't know how to deal with flirting people.

Anyway, that's it for my lunch break! Back to work! :D

Futures

I highly dislike talking about the future. It really makes me feel unprepared and entirely irresponsible, and then I get this really uncomfortable feeling in my gut/chest cavity.

But... today was 2012's commencement ceremony. The day started out with me spazzing insanely cause I figured out I could stream it live on the internets (sooooo I was a little late for work XDDDDD), but when I got to Intel, it didn't work. D: Thankfully, CD goes to work later than I do, so he and I spent awhile flailing about seniors that we knew graduating online.

Well, it was a super bitter sweet feeling. I had a lot of close friends graduating today, and I was happy for them, but I was also super sad to know that when I get back to school in the fall, they won't be there to for me to jump and attack with affection... and that makes me sad. :(

It also means... 2013 is graduating next year... that is so scary! D: There are so many things I need to do before graduation.... well, first of all, passing my classes would be nice, but then there's the GRE and grad school apps  (not to mention getting accepted) and the thesis oh my god I don't even know. D: I just feel like in high school, I knew what I was supposed to do and when I was supposed to do it by, and all I had to do was sit back and wait... Now, I don't even know what's expected of me, deadlines are lost on me, and I'm so completely lost in regards to what I want to do for the rest of my life... It's not a happy feeling. >_>

Also... Someone super special to me graduated today, and it kinda finally sunk in. I used to tell myself (back when I was naive and eeeeverything was simple) that I wouldn't do long distance and that I wouldn't let my happiness depend on some boy. Now... well. I can still be happy without the boy, but I've roped myself into long distance. Past me would be appalled to know that it's what I want now. XD I reread some of our convos from the beginning of our relationship, and MAN has it changed. He's leaving the country tomorrow for vacation, and it'll be three weeks of essentially no contact. We'll see how much withdrawal I go into by the end... XD To be honest, I don't want to think about the future of this. For now, all I know is that I will set the personal goal of seeing him at least once a month. The rest... well. Hopefully it will just fall into place.

On a much brighter note, I'm really enjoying my internship this summer! It's slow now, but I'm actually kind of worried about once things ramp up... I spent a ridiculously long time talking with my supervisor the other day about the future project (and all sorts of things in life haha). It's really cool... I never thought I would use things I learned in the EE aspects of my courses, but here, there's things from 6.02 and 6.003 and even a little of 6.01 all over the place... and I actually understand it now thanks to those classes! It's a bizarre feeling.. I finally feel like a proper 6-2! (Only sort of though. XD)

My team is also super cool. They're... well, kinda quirky. I'm waaay younger than all of them, but I'm still able to have hour-long conversations with them about life. It's super fun. XD I've been invited to pick up piano again and jam with them after work sometimes... maybe I'll take up that offer! Hopefully my piano isn't irrevocably rusty... >_>

Moral of the story? There isn't one, really. I'm still kinda scared shitless thinking about the future, but I guess all we can do is take everything in stride. Life passes by so quickly, it's dumb to not enjoy what's going on now.

All I can say is, after we're all graduated, I will probably still put my brass rat on the wrong way... oops. Old habits die hard. XD

Challenge accepted! (aka norcal, day... 6?)

First and foremost, before I write anything else, my ego demands that I note my compliment-incompatibility. Story behind this revelation? Well. Today during lunch, since nothing else seemed appetizing, I went and got my food from the same Mexican station I went to yesterday. The same cute guy who was working there looked at me, smiled, and was like "Hey! Nice to see you again! You came yesterday and got... a burrito, right? See, I remembered! I remember all the beautiful ones." -cue smile- By that time he was done with my food, so I kinda laughed, then took it and ran away. Good response! Except inside I pretty much melted into a giggling schoolgirl....

My inability to take compliments is probably an issue. I'm so embarrassing. XD

Anyway! Enough with my ego (what a way to return to blogging...). As anyone can tell, I've pretty much abandoned this blog until now... but then why am I back? Two primary reasons! One, I need something to do during my lunch breaks at work and my free time at home, and two! Caronee has promised to write an entry every time she sees me post something, and I decided to accept the challenge!

So here I am, with all my rambling thoughts relatively intact, wondering what I should begin word-vomiting about. I supposed I'll just start with Norcal!

So this is the 6th day I've been here, and the 3rd day of my internship! Nothing much has happened, to be completely honest. My life is pretty boring. My parents were with me over the weekend and we set up the apartment, but come Monday I was all alone. My apartment is really big... but really sad.. I was talking to another new hire, and we both got super excited because we both only had a mattress in our apartments. HAHA He said it kind of made us seem like serial killers... Ah well. At least I have a table and a desk lamp and cooking ware too.

As for the internship... well, it's only the 3rd day, but already people have been throwing information at me: acronyms I don't understand, vocab I don't understand, vocab that i vaguely recognize and should probably understand better, names, faces... it's all been thrown! It sounds like I have a gigantic project in front of me... and that I'll be utilizing what meager EE skills I have. I hope I remember things from 6.003 still, cause there seems to be a lot of signal processing going on. >_> I also need to learn a couple of programming languages on the fly... Hooray!

I kinda wish I was at Santa Clara.... I really miss the friends I made during my internship there last year. Now that we're all on the same work network, we kinda chat from time to time, but still! I miss those hot chocolate breaks. :(

It's kinda lonely here since I have no friends. T__T Also, if I wind up living alone when I actually start out in the real world, I am getting some form of a dog, because it is sad just living alone.

However!!!! In three weeks or so J will be coming back from overseas, and he said he's gonna drive up and spend time with me right after he gets back! I'm so excited!! Course, before then I have to deal with three weeks of essentially no contact at all... but I guess what with work and studying for the GRE (I hate life.), I should have more than enough things to keep me busy. I miss him a ridiculously large amount, and sometimes I wish I could just curl up next to him in bed and cuddle the day away. :( It also completely sucks when you're long distance and PMSing... Seriously, fuck hormones. I am definitely not this whiny/clingy normally...

On a completely different note, I am so excited to watch the new Korra episode this Saturday. It's really sad how excited I am. I'm also pretty excited for Young Justice! Saturday has become cartoon day all over again! Except now I'm 20 with a job, and not in elementary school. Hahaha....

Whoops. There goes lunch break. Here's your diary entry, Caronee. XD Back to work I gooooooo!