I highly dislike talking about the future. It really makes me feel unprepared and entirely irresponsible, and then I get this really uncomfortable feeling in my gut/chest cavity.
But... today was 2012's commencement ceremony. The day started out with me spazzing insanely cause I figured out I could stream it live on the internets (sooooo I was a little late for work XDDDDD), but when I got to Intel, it didn't work. D: Thankfully, CD goes to work later than I do, so he and I spent awhile flailing about seniors that we knew graduating online.
Well, it was a super bitter sweet feeling. I had a lot of close friends graduating today, and I was happy for them, but I was also super sad to know that when I get back to school in the fall, they won't be there to for me to jump and attack with affection... and that makes me sad. :(
It also means... 2013 is graduating next year... that is so scary! D: There are so many things I need to do before graduation.... well, first of all, passing my classes would be nice, but then there's the GRE and grad school apps (not to mention getting accepted) and the thesis oh my god I don't even know. D: I just feel like in high school, I knew what I was supposed to do and when I was supposed to do it by, and all I had to do was sit back and wait... Now, I don't even know what's expected of me, deadlines are lost on me, and I'm so completely lost in regards to what I want to do for the rest of my life... It's not a happy feeling. >_>
Also... Someone super special to me graduated today, and it kinda finally sunk in. I used to tell myself (back when I was naive and eeeeverything was simple) that I wouldn't do long distance and that I wouldn't let my happiness depend on some boy. Now... well. I can still be happy without the boy, but I've roped myself into long distance. Past me would be appalled to know that it's what I want now. XD I reread some of our convos from the beginning of our relationship, and MAN has it changed. He's leaving the country tomorrow for vacation, and it'll be three weeks of essentially no contact. We'll see how much withdrawal I go into by the end... XD To be honest, I don't want to think about the future of this. For now, all I know is that I will set the personal goal of seeing him at least once a month. The rest... well. Hopefully it will just fall into place.
On a much brighter note, I'm really enjoying my internship this summer! It's slow now, but I'm actually kind of worried about once things ramp up... I spent a ridiculously long time talking with my supervisor the other day about the future project (and all sorts of things in life haha). It's really cool... I never thought I would use things I learned in the EE aspects of my courses, but here, there's things from 6.02 and 6.003 and even a little of 6.01 all over the place... and I actually understand it now thanks to those classes! It's a bizarre feeling.. I finally feel like a proper 6-2! (Only sort of though. XD)
My team is also super cool. They're... well, kinda quirky. I'm waaay younger than all of them, but I'm still able to have hour-long conversations with them about life. It's super fun. XD I've been invited to pick up piano again and jam with them after work sometimes... maybe I'll take up that offer! Hopefully my piano isn't irrevocably rusty... >_>
Moral of the story? There isn't one, really. I'm still kinda scared shitless thinking about the future, but I guess all we can do is take everything in stride. Life passes by so quickly, it's dumb to not enjoy what's going on now.
All I can say is, after we're all graduated, I will probably still put my brass rat on the wrong way... oops. Old habits die hard. XD
But... today was 2012's commencement ceremony. The day started out with me spazzing insanely cause I figured out I could stream it live on the internets (sooooo I was a little late for work XDDDDD), but when I got to Intel, it didn't work. D: Thankfully, CD goes to work later than I do, so he and I spent awhile flailing about seniors that we knew graduating online.
Well, it was a super bitter sweet feeling. I had a lot of close friends graduating today, and I was happy for them, but I was also super sad to know that when I get back to school in the fall, they won't be there to for me to jump and attack with affection... and that makes me sad. :(
It also means... 2013 is graduating next year... that is so scary! D: There are so many things I need to do before graduation.... well, first of all, passing my classes would be nice, but then there's the GRE and grad school apps (not to mention getting accepted) and the thesis oh my god I don't even know. D: I just feel like in high school, I knew what I was supposed to do and when I was supposed to do it by, and all I had to do was sit back and wait... Now, I don't even know what's expected of me, deadlines are lost on me, and I'm so completely lost in regards to what I want to do for the rest of my life... It's not a happy feeling. >_>
Also... Someone super special to me graduated today, and it kinda finally sunk in. I used to tell myself (back when I was naive and eeeeverything was simple) that I wouldn't do long distance and that I wouldn't let my happiness depend on some boy. Now... well. I can still be happy without the boy, but I've roped myself into long distance. Past me would be appalled to know that it's what I want now. XD I reread some of our convos from the beginning of our relationship, and MAN has it changed. He's leaving the country tomorrow for vacation, and it'll be three weeks of essentially no contact. We'll see how much withdrawal I go into by the end... XD To be honest, I don't want to think about the future of this. For now, all I know is that I will set the personal goal of seeing him at least once a month. The rest... well. Hopefully it will just fall into place.
On a much brighter note, I'm really enjoying my internship this summer! It's slow now, but I'm actually kind of worried about once things ramp up... I spent a ridiculously long time talking with my supervisor the other day about the future project (and all sorts of things in life haha). It's really cool... I never thought I would use things I learned in the EE aspects of my courses, but here, there's things from 6.02 and 6.003 and even a little of 6.01 all over the place... and I actually understand it now thanks to those classes! It's a bizarre feeling.. I finally feel like a proper 6-2! (Only sort of though. XD)
My team is also super cool. They're... well, kinda quirky. I'm waaay younger than all of them, but I'm still able to have hour-long conversations with them about life. It's super fun. XD I've been invited to pick up piano again and jam with them after work sometimes... maybe I'll take up that offer! Hopefully my piano isn't irrevocably rusty... >_>
Moral of the story? There isn't one, really. I'm still kinda scared shitless thinking about the future, but I guess all we can do is take everything in stride. Life passes by so quickly, it's dumb to not enjoy what's going on now.
All I can say is, after we're all graduated, I will probably still put my brass rat on the wrong way... oops. Old habits die hard. XD
1 comment:
I think it's fine to say my boyfriend graduated instead of someone super special since I got confused lol
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